so, i'm doing paediatrics at the moment.

every morning, the senior house officers go to the neonatal ward and check on the babies who were born the day before.
because barts makes us sign of everything we see/do/hear, i tag along and do baby checks too.

new born babies are the most adorable creatures!!
they have this puckered up face, with ducky lips, and wrinkly skin, they smell of johnson's & johnson's. their eyes are all doeful.

a thorough check involves (from the head down, and as much as i can remember)...

• check fontanelles and sutures
• eyes for red reflex
• top 1/3 of ear above level of eye
• suction and palate
• brachial pulse, beats per minute
• heart sounds
• breath sounds, breaths per minute
• abdominal examination (and ask if baby has had a poo or pee)
• external genital examination
• anus patent?
• femoral pulse
• signs of hip dysplasia (most exciting bit, where you actually physically try to dislocate their hip joint)
• check feet for talipes
• moore's relfex *

* aheeeem, DID YOU KNOW (kelly + ken especially, coz i know you love my didyouknows) that new born babies are pretty much like monkeys. they have all these primitive reflexes that baby monkeys have. but at 4 months, they start to lose these reflexes, coz they don't need to hold on to trees if they fall out of a branch, and they don't need to steady themselves by grabbing things when they're sleeping in trees.

was all inspired and felt sudden rush of maternalism when checking the babies, but then suddenly realised how massive they are.

really, 4kg of human being is no joke when it comes to expulsion through a hole -- which if lucky, only ever has to deal with 5 inches of manly girth.

and also, how awkwardly shaped they are!

no wonder the mums were all sore. oooooooooooouch episiotomies are soooo not funny.

and just in case you think you're clever and want to have a caesarian, think again!

after splitting your skin and fat, the gynae gets to your underlying muscles, and they don't cut it open. oohhhh noooo. they tear your muscles apart as apparently, this heals better.

and while i still think that babies are the most adorable-est things that women could ever create from scratch (besides cute character shaped cookies which also ranks highly), the thought of forcing one through your vagina is highly unappealing.

x D